I lost my job and found my focus

Lately, I've been reflecting on the ways we engage within Capitalism.

Most of us were born into this system, unable to detach ourselves and opt out of participating in its often exploitative practices. Yes, we have the option to run away in the woods, and create self-sustaining homes and communities - but only if and when we have enough resources to do so! For most people, this is simply not realistic!

There's nothing wrong with you (or me, or us) for being born into this system.

Capitalism is the condition and context that was handed to us.

One of the ways Capitalism permeates and structures our lives is the exchange of our labor, or life energy, for survival.

Work as the foundational template for our daily lives.
Work as a structuring force for our attention, time, and energy.
Work as a substitute for community.
Work as a measure of self-worth.
Work as the legacy we leave behind.

I am not against work.
I understand it for what it is.
There are times when I thoroughly enjoy working!

I appreciate being able to meet new people, explore new worlds, and grow as an individual through the vehicle of work.

I appreciate being able to structure my time and focus.

I appreciate having been able to pay my bills, save for the future, and buy myself and my loved ones pleasurable gifts and experiences!

I find it a worthy cause to join a greater mission, to collaborate with like minds, and to provide value to others.

Recently, I was laid off from my position as a Medical Office Administrator at Field Trip Health, when the company closed several of its clinics, including the Chicago location.

It happened suddenly, with little warning. There was nothing I could do on my own to save the company. I felt utterly powerless.

This loss caused me so much stress, heartache, anger, and grief that I'm still healing from.

I not only lost my job, my source of income and stability - but also my connection to a community where I felt valued, seen, and celebrated.

I lost the momentum that I was building towards.

It felt like being in a relay race, and I was just handed the baton. I'm off running when it's announced that the game is over.

I have spent the past few weeks tending to my needs and allowing myself to grieve, and to heal.

In this process of rebuilding, I've been able to reunite parts of myself I had been setting aside and de-prioritizing because of work.

I've returned to things that bring me joy.
Moving my body, expressing my inner world.
Creating community outside of the exchange of labor for survival.

I rediscovered parts of me that transcend the structures of capitalism.

I'm regaining my energy, motivation, and drive to find new exciting opportunities to continue learning, growing, and contributing to greater missions.

I'm returning to my practice as a holistic wellness coach with greater clarity. I know the value of what I offer.

I remember who I am.